Interesting

June 11, 2008

After the heat, the rain came pouring down for days. At times it would come down intense, with thunder and lightening, at times just soft and sprinkling. It seemed to cool me down for a bit, but the humidity would come back stronger than before.

It relates to my relationship in many ways – sometimes we seem to not get enough of each other, sometimes we don’t want to be in the same room as each other, and sometimes it’s just so-so, just getting by, day to day, which is boring, but sometimes, that’s life.

I wish my relationship was exciting and intimate and sexy all the time – I wish it was a rush of me and him, him and I, 24/7. That feeling you get when you first meet somebody, that feeling of butterflies and flirting, and feeling hot for him all the time. The way a girl shows off a bit when she first meets a guy, laughing a little louder, thrusting her breasts out a little further – sometimes I want that all the time.

And it’s so cliche isn’t it? Enter a kid, a dog, a house, a life together, and the passion retreats just a bit, sometimes a large bit, but in my case it’s a small-medium bit. My boyfriend works an awful lot as well, for instance, today he left the house around 7 am, and he’s hopefully going to be back by 9 pm. He’s always tired.

But sometimes I’m left to wonder, are these all just excuses?

Successful couples learn to deal with each others issues, problems, and learn to live together somewhat synchronized albeit in a repetitive semi-bored state, right? It’s like a machine that’s well-oiled. And everyone else is what? Unsuccessful? Meaning that their relationship will eventually dissipate? Do “successful” couples even exist?

Kids, dogs, work, and other issues in relationships should NOT be excuses as to why a relationship is slowing down or losing its passion. They shouldn’t be – but we let it happen to ourselves all the time. Are we self-sabotaging ourselves? Why do we let this happen?

I have to say though, there are times where I don’t feel entirely connected to him, I feel like we are more a mom & dad both working at keeping the world turning consistently and boring, working hard and living life. But there are times….

When he comes home from work at 9 pm to find me all dolled up and ready to go out, and, instead of hanging his head and whining about a hard days work, he gets dressed and cleaned up, and takes me out for a light night snack. A couple of glasses of wine.

And then we make love so passionately, so intensely, that I forget any feeling of disconnect I could have had.

Maybe that’s what makes a relationship work. Those special nights of passion intertwined with the blandness of life. Just to keep things interesting.

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